We have learned that alcoholism/addiction is an illness, not a moral issue. It is a two-fold disease: A physical allergy coupled with an obsession of the mind. It can be cured through our father God. Temptation and the Enemy will make it difficult so it will be a daily struggle. It is similar to diabetes in this respect. Diabetics need medication in the same way addicts need God. Only complete abstinence from the use of drugs or alcohol in any form, including medicine, can arrest this disease. We can no more prevent the alcoholic's use of alcohol or the addict's use of drugs than we can stop the tubercular's coughing. Only the addict can choose to trust God, and walk out their healing.
We have found that compulsive use of alcohol or drugs does not indicate lack of affection for the family. It is not a matter of love, but of illness. The alcoholic / addict has lost the power of choice in the matter of alcohol or drugs. Even when he or she knows what will happen when he or she takes the first drink, pill or fix, he or she will do so. This is the insanity we speak of in regard to this illness. When we fully understand and accept that alcoholism/addiction is a disease, that is both mental and physical, and that we are powerless over it, we become ready to learn a better way to live.
Where do I start?
The place to begin in helping with recovery from alcoholism or drug addiction is with you. Learn all you can. Put it into practice, not just into words. This will be far more effective than anything you attempt to do for the addict.
In summation there are several rules of thumb which may be observed:
1. Learn all the facts and put them to work in your own life. Don't start with the addict.
2. Attend AA, Al-Anon, Celebrate Recovery meetings, or NA meetings, and if possible to a mental health clinic, alcoholism information center or to a competent counselor or minister who has had experience in this field.
3. Remember you are emotionally involved. Changing your attitude and approach to the problem can speed up recovery.
4. Encourage all beneficial activities of the alcoholic and cooperate in making them possible.
Learn that love cannot exist without compassion, discipline and justice, and to accept love or give it without these qualities is to destroy it eventually
It is easier to find a list of "don’ts" in dealing with addicts than a list of "do's";
for it is easier to understand why you fail than to know why you succeed.
The following list is not inclusive but it makes a good beginning:
In order for your loved one (daughter, sister, wife, mother, friend etc.) to successfully complete the Shane's Crib program and gain the tools necessary to become a contributing member of society, it is imperative that you (family, significant other, or friend) give resident your love and support, not only while here but after returning home.
Regardless of why your love one is here, this could be the most important time of her life, if she wants it to be, and if you're willing to help. In order for you to support your love one, you need to know as much as possible about the disease of addiction, what's going on within, what she is going through and what unresolved issues exist between you and your love one.
We dedicate one Saturday per month towards "Family Day". Members of each resident's recovery support group are encouraged to attend. You will be notified by mail of these meetings, and we strongly urge you to attend. This will be your chance to learn about the disease your loved one has, to air your feelings, concerns, and yes, even fears with other family members, some of whom have been in the program for a period of time.
In order to participate in Family Day you must attend a support meeting * where you live and attend those meetings on a frequent basis. These meetings will be very helpful to you in educating yourself on this disease and learning how others have coped with it.
* These support meetings may include Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Celebrate Recovery, or Al Anon other similar programs.
Many times when family and friends try to "help" addicts, they are actually making it easier for them to continue in the progression of the disease.
This baffling phenomenon is called "enabling", which takes many forms, all of which have the same effect, allowing the addict to avoid the consequences of their actions. This in turn allows the addict to continue merrily along their addictive ways, secure in the knowledge that no matter how far they sink, somebody will always be there to rescue them.
What is the difference between "helping" and "enabling"?
There are many opinions and viewpoints on this, but here is a simple description:
Helping is doing something for someone that they are not capable of doing themselves. Enabling is doing for someone things that they could, and should be doing for themselves. Simply, enabling creates an atmosphere in which the addict can comfortably continue their unacceptable behavior.
Here are a few questions that might help determine the difference between helping and enabling an addict in your life:
Have you ever "called in sick" for the addict; lying about their symptoms?
Have you accepted part of the blame for their addictive behavior?
Have you avoided talking about their addiction out of fear of their response?
Have you bailed them out of jail or paid for their legal fees?
Have you paid bills that they were supposed to have paid themselves?
Have you loaned them money?
Have you tried drinking or using drugs with them in hopes of strengthening the relationship?
Have you given them "one more chance" and then another and another?
Have you threatened to leave and didn't?
Have you finished a job or project that the addict failed to complete them?
Don't blame yourself. Addiction is a disease. It's not your fault.
Take care of yourself - you're worth it. Prioritize your needs and don't over commit yourself. Have patience and learn. Plan and act on the things which are important to you. There is no express elevator to serenity - only the twelve steps of recovery, taken one step at a time.
Live in today's reality, don't overdo, and keep it simple. When projecting on our past or future, remember we can only take care of what is happening now. Just for today focus on serenity and peace of mind. Today is all I have, let me do with it the best I can. God gave me this one day. I have a choice of how to spend it.
When we go through turmoil and troubles and we feel like we can't take anymore or we will die, and then we live through it, we realize how much we have grown and how strong we have become. We gain the strength and courage to face the next situation we face, we will be stronger because of the learned experience.
We tend to let others control our lives. We allow people to rob us of our dreams. Just when we think we've got it together, someone will make a statement or remark about how we should act or what we should be and we allow those remarks to make us question and doubt ourselves. We give these people power over us. No one else should control our lives. We are in control of our own lives and destiny with the help of our higher power. We cannot live our lives through other people's thoughts or action. We don't have to allow ourselves or our thoughts to be controlled by someone else's judgment.
The tree that grows the straightest and strongest is the one which is pruned and trimmed. The time of pruning, the tree looks bare and lonesome. But, it is the tree that will grow back stronger than before. Your greatest problems are God's way of making you stronger. He is pruning you because he knows that you will become a better, more fully developed human being and most important, He knows that you can survive the pruning. A good gardener knows how much to prune.
If you're reading this it probably means that you or someone you love is already involved in or considering joining a Twelve Step program of recovery. We embark on recovery as a means of seeking freedom from anyone or more of a number of addictive agents. Addictive agents are those persons or things on which we form an excessive dependency.
The catalog of addictive agents includes:
Alcohol or drugs
Work, achievement, and success
Money addictions, such as overspending, gambling, hoarding
Control addictions, especially if they surface in personal, sexual, family, and business relationships
Approval dependency (the need to please people)
Rescuing patterns toward other persons
Dependency on toxic relationships (relationships that are damaging and hurtful)
Physical illness (hypochondria)
Exercise and physical conditioning
Cosmetics, clothes, cosmetic surgery, trying to look good on the outside
Academic pursuits and excessive intellectualizing religiosity or religious legalism (preoccupation with the form and the rules and regulations of religion, rather than benefiting from the real spiritual message)
Cleaning and avoiding contamination and other obsessive-compulsive symptoms
Organizing, structuring (the need always to have everything in its place)
Most of us can see ourselves somewhere in this list. And all of us can benefit from the truths that emerge from the Twelve-Step Recovery, because all of us are, to some degree, codependent. What does that mean? We define codependency as being an effort to control interior feelings by manipulating people, things, and events on the outside.
"Our Mission is to present to men and women an understanding of Christ's forgiveness and acceptance through the study of God's Holy Word and a 12-step recovery program."
What is drug addiction?
Drug/alcohol addiction is a complex, and often chronic, brain disease. It is characterized by drug craving, seeking, and use that can persist even in the face of devastating life consequences. Addiction results largely from brain changes that stem from prolonged drug/alcohol use-changes that involve multiple brain circuits, including those responsible for governing self-control and other behaviors.
How quickly can someone become addicted?
Becoming addicted to a drug/alcohol depends on many factors, including your biology (your genes), age, gender, environment, and interactions among these factors. Vast differences characterize individual sensitivity to various drugs and to addiction vulnerability. While one person may use a drug one or many times and suffer no ill effects, another person may overdose with first use or become addicted after a few uses.
How do I know if someone is addicted to drugs?
If a person is compulsively seeking and using alcohol/drug(s) despite negative consequences, such as loss job, debt, family problems, or physical problems brought on by drug abuse, then he or she probably is addicted. And while people who are addicted may believe they can stop any time, most often they cannot, and will need professional help.
What are the admission requirements for Shane's Crib?
All of our residents must meet our general admission requirements. APPLICANT ONLY must fill out the application (Application can be found on this website on the Apply page)
What are residents allowed to bring with them to Shane's Crib?
Shane's Crib provides the residents of our program will all their basic needs. Residents are allowed to bring clothing items (seasonal), clothes for working, church clothes, workout clothes, pictures from home, a personal Bible, make up items and jewelry if they would like. Shane's Crib provides bedding items, pillows, towels and other items needed. We have residents that come with items from home and residents that come with nothing at all. God ALWAYS provides.
How Much Money Can I have at Shane's Crib?
Residents are allowed $50 on their person. Each resident will receive $50 per month to meet their needs while at Shane's Crib. We make a monthly trip to Wal-Mart.
How many woman are at Shane's Crib?
Living Waters Facility will hold up to 21 women, Shane's Crib facility holds up to 12 woman and Rizpah House Transitional Home holds 11 woman. The facility is designed to hold 44 woman total.